Wednesday 8 May 2013

Goodbye Depression, Goodbye Binge Eating

Eeeekkk so my last two posts were both over a month ago where I opened up about depression and binge eating. That time has flew by and I've just spent the last month beavering away and focusing on overcoming the two and not worrying about blog posts or other tasks but, just taking a break and just really focusing on health 1st and foremost. As soon as I did those posts I immediately felt liberated. I felt they were both so ridiculous, and so since then I'm been working on just being happy, but healthy (I'm feeling much better on the whole).  Shockingly though the binge eating has been the bigger challenge out of the two, but I'm almost there. Once I feel like I've completely kicked butt with that problem, I'll post my tips but I haven't quite got there yet....close, but not mission accomplished shall we say. I've had a few hiccups along the way, but I' m determined so I know I'll be able to post that blog when I'm ready. I'm not going to put any pressure on myself as I want to learn the process and grow from my experiences. I'm just finding the right balance now between healthy eating and not feeling deprived leading to a rebellious binge.

As for the depression, well I'm not so sure. There are days when I feel fine, good in fact and whilst I don't want to jinx in it there has been more good days than bad recently. Yay! I really feel like there is definitely a massive link between binge eating and the depression as battling the binge has definitely lifted my mood. For those of you that know my not so secret secret I've I've also had a internal and external ultrasound scan which picked up on Polycystic Ovaries, which can also be linked with depression. From what I'm reading (google-ing, it's never good - sometimes I convince myself I'm dying :p), there is links between Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and your mood/depression. The advice is to eat healthy and keep naughty sugars in check. The thing is when I eat less of these foods I do feel better, now I also know it's even more important for my health it makes it more paramount than ever to keep it up. I definitely feel between the depression, binge eating to the Polycystic Ovaries there is a lot of linkage between them all. 

The stupid thing is one of the reasons I got myself in this situation was due to worrying how I was always perceived by others. Stressing myself out and trying to always be better. Never just being OK with what I'd achieved or learnt.  The business which I loved was affected, I lost my way and my confidence as well as members. I literally felt like I'd been hit by a brick wall and that was it, the business was ending and it was just a matter of time. So I decided to go out on with a bang, to stop worrying if people didn't like me, my class, or felt I didn't look in good shape but to just enjoy it encase it might be the last. Funnily enough when I let all my worries go, because I felt I had nothing more to give things got better. Business is going well, don't get me wrong I have a long way to go but all in all things are going very well. Lots of amazing feedback , classes are getting full and I have plans for expansion. Who'd of thought it! My confidence is gradually increasing and I've set myself a HUGE challenge to overcome my physical insecurity demons left in the closet. When I say HUGE I mean it's not big as in noticeable to the world big deal, but to me on a personal level it's enormous. Let's just say the challenge I set myself in January has been cranked up a notch! 


I'm putting to bed my worries, other people's comments, the past and putting the final piece of the jigsaw in place to be healthy. 

Will post my new challenge asap, before I back out :P 

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